We All Fall Down Sometimes
by BrBa308
Summary: Jesse and Jane help each other through the complications of their lives. *trigger warning for drug abuse*
1. Chapter 1: Jane's Addiction

Chapter 1- Jane's Addiction

"Jane?!" Jesse yelled as he knocked on the door next door to his apartment.

Jane slowly cracked open her eyes and looked over at her alarm clock sitting on the table next to her bed to check the time. 2:03 PM. Next to it she saw a syringe.

"Oh shit." Jane had forgotten what went on last night.

She stumbled out of bed and threw on the already-worn clothes that laid in a pile next to her bed- black jeans and a plain black v-neck.

"Be there in a second!" She yelled as she frantically ran around her small apartment to find her purse and her house keys.

Jesse stood outside and waited patiently, kicking around a stone on her porch with his foot.

"Sorry about that, I was in the shower." She apologized as she opened up the door.

Jesse looked up at her and was taken by surprise by how she looked. She looked dead in the eyes, lifeless. She was pale and had dark black circles underneath her eyes.

"Jane. Wha- what happened to you?" Jesse asked her with a concerned tone in his voice.

"Nothing. What do you mean? I'm fine. Let's go." Jane started walking toward Jesse's car, locking her apartment door behind her. Jesse grabbed her arm gently to stop her.

"Jane, what happened to you?"

Jane sighed. She had a hard time believing it herself that she had gone back to heroin after being clean for so long. It had been almost a year since she last injected the poisonous substance into her veins. She looked Jesse in the eyes and swallowed hard. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't put him through this again.

"What? Jane, did you-" Jesse started to ask the obvious question but he was cut off quickly.

"Yes." Jane started sobbing in front of him. "Yes, ok? Yes Jesse, I fucked up."

Jesse got a scared look in his eyes and he stared down at the ground. He didn't really know what to say.

"Jane, how could you?" He asked softly.

"I don't know. I just, I slipped. That stuff is so addictive. I just couldn't control myself. It was like this overwhelming feeling, I just had to have it. I'm so sorry Jesse.. I'm so sorry." Her voice trailed off toward the end of her statement.

Jesse felt sorry for her and angry at her at the same time. At the moment he didn't want to be around her though, he needed to take a minute to himself and gather his thoughts.

"I know. I get it, Jane. I'm gonna have to go to my apartment and take some time to myself. Maybe we could go to the museum tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah.. yeah, sure." Jane responded.

Jesse started walking to his apartment next door. He looked back at her with a hurt look in his eyes as he opened his door. She was still standing there outside her door, staring into the distance. Jesse loved her a lot. He wanted her to get better, he just felt so scared. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her. He got inside his apartment and closed his door. He slid down the door and sat on the ground, crying.


	2. Chapter 2: Life or Death

Chapter 2- Life or Death

Jesse got up off the floor after about an hour of crying and went to his bedroom. When he got there he opened the window, sat on his bed, and grabbed his bowl and his bag of weed out of the drawer of his nightstand. He put some of the weed into his bowl, lit it, and took a long draw from it. As he blew the smoke out of his mouth he watched it make it's way out of the window and pollute the outside air. Then he focused on the warmness it left in his lungs. He could feel it moving through his body. Just then his phone started ringing. He grabbed it out of his pocket to see who it was.

"Great. Just what I needed right now." He said sarcastically.

He huffed loudly and opened up the phone.

"What is it, Mr. White?" He made sure his voice sounded like he didn't want to be talking to him right now.

"Jesse, where are you?!" Walt yelled.

"What do you mean? I told you I would be spending the day with Jane." Jesse replied, frustrated.

"Yeah, well, come over to my house. I need you." Walt said, sounding impatient.

"Why?" Jesse asked, again making sure he sounded as annoyed as possible.

"Just, come over. Please."

"Whatever. I'll be there in a few minutes." Jesse hung up.

Jesse went outside and made his way to his car. Before leaving he looked to see if Jane was outside. She wasn't there. He closed his eyes for a second then started driving. He was worried about her but he didn't want to go inside her apartment and check on her, he was scared of what he might see. It was too painful for him to even think about, so he blasted loud music on his radio and sped away.

"It's me, Mr. White." Jesse knocked on his door.

Walt opened the curtain slightly and peeked through the window next to the door. After confirming that it was Jesse he opened the door and welcomed him inside.

"Paranoid much?" Jesse asked as he stepped inside.

"Jesse, let's go talk over here," Walt said as he led Jesse over to the couch in the middle of his living room.

"What's up?" Jesse questioned.

"It's Gus. He's trying to replace me. I think he's going to kill me," Walt said so calmly that Jesse was unsure that he had heard him right.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Jesse asked, confused. "Gus isn't.. he wouldn't- I don't think he would do that."

"Jesse, this is a hardcore criminal we're talking about here. We can't underestimate him.."

Jesse raised his eyebrows and thought for a second.

"Yeah, but, who would he even replace you with? You're Heisenberg," Jesse said, drawing out the word Heisenberg. After all, he was a legend in the city of Albuquerque. That is, for meth heads and for the DEA.

"Can't you see it?" Walt remarked as if it was obvious. "He's trying to get you to take over. He's started watching you and making sure you know what to do without me."

Jesse was silent for a few seconds. It really was obvious after he thought about. He wondered why he hadn't come to that realization before. After all, Gus did put cameras in the lab, came down to watch them a couple times, and called Jesse to come cook an "emergency" batch while Walt was at the hospital getting a chemo treatment that Gus knew about beforehand.

"Shit..." Jesse said quietly. "But why would he try to kill you?"

"Haven't you been listening?" Walt raised his voice. "So that you can take my place! That's all he wants. Gus hates me and wants to get rid of me."

"Well, what do we do about it?" Jesse was sure there was nothing they could do except for leave town and get away from this whole mess.

"We have to kill Gus." Walt stated as if it was going to be easy.

Jesse looked up at Walt, shocked.

"How.. what? Mr. White, this is Gus Fring we're talking about."

"I know. I know Jesse, but we can do it. Trust me." Walt tried to sound confident in what he was saying. "I don't have an exact plan yet but I was thinking we could could just invite him over to my house, make sure it sounds like a friendly get together so he doesn't bring along body guards or any type of weapon. We'll make friendly conversation with him over dinner, and then as he's leaving- bang. We shoot him."

Jesse had an unsure look on his face. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe."

They both sat in silence for a minute, thinking it over. It definitely wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done.

"Well, I guess I should go home now? Sleep on it?" Jesse started to stand up so he could leave and go home.

"Wait. Jesse, did you come here high?" Walt noticed it right away when Jesse came through the door, but he had much more important things he had to discuss with him first.

"I had a rough day." Jesse was only speaking the truth. He walked over to the door.

"Wait, sit down. Want to talk about it?" Walt offered.

Jesse didn't particularly want to, but he also didn't want to go home and possibly see Jane in the same state she was earlier.

"Sure. Why not," Jesse said as he made his way over back to the couch and sat down.

"It's Jane. She, uh, she went back to the heroin..." Jesse wasn't really sure why he was telling Walt about this, but it was kind of relieving for him to talk about it.

Walt sat back on the couch and looked over at Jesse with a compassionate look in his eyes.

"You know, Jesse, there's been something I was thinking about telling you someday.. mind if I tell you now?"

Jesse didn't say anything but gave Mr. White a look as if to say "Go ahead."

"Last year when Jane was really out of control with her addiction.. one of the nights that you both we're on heroin, I came over to your apartment to grab the meth stored there." Mr. White looked around nervously. "When I broke in, i.."

"Yeah?" Jesse was getting impatient.

"I heard choking sounds. I came over to your bedroom. Jane was choking on her own vomit.. I turned her over on her side so she would stop choking." Walt was remembering it all very vividly.

"Are you serious Mr. White?"

Walt nodded.

"You.. you saved her life." Jesse was dumbfounded.

He hugged Mr. White and started to cry again.

"Thanks," Jesse said. He didn't really know what else to say. What could he say? He was just told that his girlfriend's life was saved. She could be dead right now if it weren't for Walt. She would be dead.

Jesse continued hugging him for about a minute. He suddenly let go.

"Jane..." Jesse said. "I need to go check on her.

Jesse ran out the door and got in his car.


	3. Chapter 3: I Love You

Chapter 3- I Love You

Jesse drove his car over to Jane's apartment and unevenly parallel parked in front. He rushed up to the door of her apartment and knocked.

"Hello?" Jane asked nonchalantly as she opened up her door. "Oh, um. Hey Jesse.."

"Hey," Jesse smiled a little.

Jesse hugged Jane and then let go.

"Come inside," Jane told him.

"Of course," Jesse walked inside and scoped out the room for a second.

Jane guided him to her bedroom and they sat down on her bed together.

"Thank god you're alright." Jesse hugged her again.

Jane got a sad look in her eyes.

"Jesse, of course I'm fine. I've done heroin before. It's not like I'm going to die after one more time. "

"But you're going to quit again, aren't you?" Jesse asked slightly angrily.

"Well. I don't know," Jane hesitated.

Jesse stared blankly at the ground and had a nervous look in his eyes.

"Jane, I love you," It was the first time he had said this out loud to her. "I love you a lot. Please don't do this to yourself. I can't lose you."

Jane looked Jesse straight in the eyes and she started to tear up. She swallowed hard.

"I'll try." She replied gently.

Jesse sighed.

"Yo, look, I just can't be without you ," Jesse ran his hand through his hair.

"We're having a serious conversation and you're going to say the word 'yo'?" Jane questioned.

They both laughed.

"Y'know, I do have a way with words," Jesse joked.

Jane giggled and a smile appeared on her face. Jesse kissed her.

"You're so cute when you smile. You should do it more often," Jesse started making out with her.

Jane smiled even bigger as the making out became more passionate. Jesse put his hand up Jane's shirt and fussed around with her bra clasp until became undone. Jane put her arms up in the air and Jesse pulled her shirt over her head and continued taking off her bra. Jane reached over and slipped Jesse's t-shirt off and over his head. Jesse leaned over and laid Jane on the bed while still kissing her.

"I love you, baby," He said.

He stood up for a second to take his pants and his boxers off. He slipped Jane's pants off and laid down again to kiss her. He move his lips off of her lips and down onto her neck.

"Oh!" She moaned.

He made his way down her neck and onto her breast. He moved his tongue around her nipple in a circular motion and closed his lips around it. He made his way down her stomach and went down to her clit. He licked it and put his mouth on it, sucking it slightly.

"Ahh," She made another noise of pleasure.

She was getting wetter and wetter as Jesse kissed her all over. He moved his fingers through her hair and gently kissed her neck again. He slipped her underwear off with one of hands while kissing her stomach. He started to make his way inside her. They both simultaneously moaned and made faces of pleasure. She loved the feeling of him inside her, and he loved the feeling of himself inside her.

"I love you too, Jesse."


	4. Chapter 4 Faded to Pretend

Jesse and Jane woke up in Jane's bed, slightly cuddling each other. They smiled as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Good morning," Jesse said as he planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Morning, Jess," She replied, still smiling.

Jesse moved up the bed so that he was sitting up slightly.

"I.. you know how last night when I came here and we started talking?" He questioned.

"Yeah," Jane answered as she looked up at him with confused eyes. "What about it?"

"When I was in highschool.. I, I was addicted too," He stopped suddenly without adding anything else.

Jane looked into his eyes, searching for what kind of emotion he was feeling. He looked sad almost. She looked down at her hands as she talked.

"Do you.. wanna talk about it?" She asked almost hesitantly.

Jesse looked up and out the window. His eyes watered at little as he thought back to the memories.

* * *

"Jesse? Jesse! Wake up! Jesse?!" He faintly heard the voice of his mother as he laid on the bed, unable to respond.

"Jesse! Oh my god.. Jesse what did you do?" She continued.

Jesse opened his eyes a sliver but quickly slipped back into unconsciousness. What felt like hours went by and he was still laying there in a sleep-like state, faintly hearing voices that sounded far away. He eventually woke up, slowly and gently opening his eyes, and slowly gaining back his senses.

"Uhh.. mom?" He said as soon he saw his mother sitting on a chair near his bed.

"Jesse.." She spoke quietly, in a voice that sounded like she was close to crying. "What happened?" She asked semi-calmly.

Jesse gulped. He was in this kind of stage of where he wanted to rebel against his parents as much as possible but he also didn't want to interact with them at all. Both were pretty easy for him though, considering his parents already partially ignored him, and he's always loved mischievous things. This time it was extreme and way beyond anything he had done before, but he still didn't really care. He didn't want to talk about what he had done, but he didn't care if they knew. He stood up, grabbed his keys off his desk, and started out his bedroom to go downstairs.

"Jesse, wait!" His mother yelled at him. "You can't drive while you're.. while you're like _that_." She finished, gradually getting quieter.

Jesse could hear her feet pounding down the stairs as she ran after him, but he still didn't care. He walked at a normal walking pace to his car, got in, and sped off.

* * *

Jesse rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head. "Nah.." He answered, staring down at his hands.

Jane looked down awkwardly as well, wondering about what she should say next, or even if she _should_ say anything.

"Well, um. The first time I first tried it was in high school too.." She finally said, an obvious uncomfortableness to her voice.

Jesse looked up at her as if suddenly interested, a shine of emotion flashing across his eyes as he showed a glimpse of empathy.

"Yeah, I uh. I guess I got involved with the wrong people.. I was a sophomore. Me and a group of friends, we.." She stopped for a second to let out a soft sigh. "We were out late at night, you know, just walking around. One of my friends, his name was James, he pulled it out of his pocket. I had no idea what it was, but he told me it would make me feel great. I was pretty depressed at the time from my mom's death and all.. apparently depression and heroin don't mix so well together," She said with a tiny smirk.

Jesse returned her smirk, staring into her eyes. He leaned over to kiss her forehead and he moved closer to her on the bed.

"I love you.." He said with a quiet passion.

* * *

Walt sat at the kitchen table with a pen and a notepad with yellow, lined paper. He was determined to continue on with his plan of getting rid of Gus.

"Alright.." He whispered to himself. "I can use a gun, a knife, ricin.."

He made a list of the pros and cons for each method.

 _Gun:_

 _Pros: quick, easy, painless_

 _Cons: he might check for guns on us when we enter his house_

 _Knife:_

 _Pros: possibly easy, could be grabbed from his kitchen_

 _Cons: more of an involved type of killing (would feel the knife going in), might not kill him right away and give him the chance to fight back_

 _Ricin:_

 _Pros: very easy, could slip in his drink when he's not looking_

 _Cons: might not have a chance to slip it in_

He circled the word 'ricin' written on his notepad. It seemed to be the clear, obvious choice to him.


	5. Chapter 5: One Step Ahead

"Ok, so you know what to do?" Walter asked his younger business partner.

Jesse gulped as he got a nervous look on his face. "Yeah.." he whispered, even though they were the only two in the car. "Act natural, be nice, don't look suspicious.."

"Right," Walt answered. "I'll wait until he's not looking and I'll slip it in his drink. If that doesn't work, I have a gun-"

"Jesus.." Jesse whispered as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Jesse, this has to be done, and we both know it. Now I'm not asking you to be the one to do it, but I need you to act normal and not give anything away," Walter said in a very serious tone. "Make business talk, go along with anything I do," he added.

Jesse nodded without saying anything. They both got out of the car, walking up to Gus's house with their heads held high and with stoic looks on their faces. Once they got to the door Walt rang the doorbell, and they waited in silence.

"Hello Walter, Jesse," Gus greeted, nodding at each of them as he said their names.

They entered his house, taking in the view of the expensive, nice-looking home.

"Lovely home," Walter commented.

"Yeah," Jesse agreed. "It's nice," he added with a nod.

"Thank you," Gus responded. "I just finished cooking dinner, why don't you two go have a seat at the table while I get it ready?"

"Yes, that sounds great," Walter replied, trying to stay as professional as possible.

They all walked into the kitchen, where Jesse and Walt sat down at the table and Gus got plates and cups out of the kitchen cabinets.

"Water fine?" Gus asked the two.

"Yes, that's fine," Walt answered.

"Yeah, good," Jesse said with a carelessness to his voice, causing Walter to kick him underneath the table. "Hey," Jesse retorted with a whisper.

"Everything alright?" Gus asked as he brought three empty cups to the table and a pitcher of water, pouring the water into the empty glasses.

"Yes, everything's fine," Walt said with a nod and a smile. He glared at Jesse as Gus walked back to the counter.

Jesse suddenly got an urgent look on his face, half-heartedly motioning to Gus's glass of water. Walter stuck his hand into his pocket and searched slowly for the ricin, keeping his eyes solely on Gus to make sure he didn't turn around. He grabbed the ricin and quietly poured it into the drink.

"You two sure are quiet tonight," Gus remarked with a small laugh as he brought plates to the table and the food that he had cooked.

"Oh, yeah. We were just waiting for you," Jesse replied.

Gus sat down at the table and looked at both of them before taking a small sip of his water. Walter and Jesse both glanced at each other nervously as they watched Gus.

"Hmm," Gus said very quietly, spitting the water back into the cup. Walter and Jesse looked at each other with confused looks. Gus stood up and walked over to the kitchen sink, pouring the water down the drain.

"Sorry about that," Gus said, not giving an explanation as to why he just did what he did.

Walter and Jesse didn't respond, but stared at him with nervous expressions.

"Are we okay to resume?" Gus asked without changing his facial expression or tone of voice. Walter and Jesse both nodded.

"Good," Gus said, reaching for his fork. Jesse leaned back in his chair a little bit as if Gus was going to use the fork as a weapon against him. He slightly stuttered gibberish as he looked back and forth between Mr. White and Gus. "What was that?" he was finally able to slip out, almost accusingly.

Gus finished chewing the food in his mouth and set his fork back down on the table almost robotically. He stood up and slowly walked over next to where Walt was sitting. Jesse and Walter's eyes both widened as they tensed up. Gus quickly reached down and grabbed the gun that was half-sticking out of Walt's waistband of his pants. Walt immediately backed up far from the table, stood up, and put his hands up.

"Gus, we both know your business can't go on successfully without me," Walt said frantically, trying to convince him to not kill him.

"Walter, I am always one step ahead of you," Gus said, pointing the gun at Walter. Walter gulped and his lip started trembling as if he was about to cry.

"Stop!" Jesse yelled as he saw Gus's finger reach for the trigger. But it was too late.

Bang. Jesse could still hear clearly over and over in head. He dropped to his knees, staring at the lifeless body in front of him. He rubbed his hand down his face as he began to cry.


	6. Chapter 6: Road to Recovery

Jesse lay in bed with Jane, both of them silent. She didn't know what happened earlier that evening, but she knew it was something big. It had to have been, with the way he was acting. He was so disconnected, so detached from reality. She could see it in his eyes. She reached her hand over and gently rubbed it against his, still staring off into thin air. She stroked his hand a couple times, then rested her hand on his. She could feel his hand tense up, as if he was angry. She rubbed his hand again until she felt it loosen up. After a few seconds she looked over at him, looking at his almost lifeless-looking eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jesse shook his head gently. "You wouldn't understand."

Jane nodded. "Ok," she replied quietly. "But I might if you-"

"I don't want to talk about it, ok?" Jesse snapped. He stood up, grabbing the doorknob to Jane's room. "I'll see you later," he mumbled, opening the door to leave to go to his apartment next door.

Jane sighed. She wanted so badly to be able to help him, to make him feel better. She had no idea what happened to him, but it was obvious he needed comfort. This was something Jane was good at now. Ever since she had gone through the rough times of her on-again, off-again addiction she had developed a lot of empathy for people. She knew what it felt like to go through something so bad that you barely know how you were even able to make it through. She sighed, staring over at the drawer where she kept the heroin. Her eyes watered as she gently shook her head. "It's not worth it," she whispered quietly to herself.

* * *

"Hi, my name is Jane," she introduced herself to the crowd. "I'm addicted to heroin," she said a little bit quieter. "I was fourteen, I had just started my sophomore year of high school. My mom had recently died a few months back," she paused. She had never said the whole story out loud and she was just now realizing it wasn't very easy to say. "A friend gave it to me. I.. I don't really know why I tried it, but I did. I stuck the needle in and.. it was like instant pleasure. Intense pleasure, too real to be put into words. And at the time, it helped. It was an easy fix to my shitty life. It helped me, it solved all of my temporary problems. It was the only thing I felt like I could really count on and trust. I went a couple days without it after the first time, but then it was like I _needed_ it. It was so strong too, I felt like I had to have it or I was going to explode. My father eventually found out.. he was so shocked. And so was I. When I think back on it now, it feels like that wasn't even _me_. I was a totally different person before it happened. I was _happy_. I mean, all that changed after my mom died, but this was _different_. It was like I didn't care about anything anymore. I stopped caring about what I looked like, what people thought about me, about school.. my grades dropped a lot and I stopped going to school for a little while. And when I did go I would come in late or leave early. I.. I just changed a lot. I wasn't the same person I was before. It was like part of me had died that night. And I still feel that, which is why I'm here. I think I'm finally ready to give this a chance," she finished with teary eyes as she sat down among the crowd.

* * *

Jesse woke up feeling restless and achy. He rolled his eyes at the sunlight as reached over to the other side of his bed for his cell phone. _Two missed calls_. His phone dinged just then as he received a text message. He opened it and read it. All it said was "Pollos."

"Jesus.." Jesse whispered angrily to himself. He knew who had sent it, and he didn't want anything to do with him. He sat up and got out of bed, moaning grumpily. He grabbed his jeans off the floor, putting them up on both legs at once as he jumped into them. He ran his hand through his hair, deciding what to do. He hated Gus now and would prefer to never see him again, but like Walt said before, he shouldn't underestimate him. He headed out the front door of his apartment, taking his keys out of his pocket and getting into his car. He drove away, still too distracted by the fragile state of his mind to stop and think why Gus would want to see him.

"Hey," Jesse greeted loosely as he walked up to the order counter of Los Pollos Hermanos and saw Gus.

"Can i help you?" Gus asked as if he had never seen Jesse before in his life.

Jesse rolled his eyes. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked with a strained voice.

"I'm sorry but I'm not sure what you mean. Would you like to order something?" Gus asked again calmly.

Jesse sighed and looked off to the side in irritation. "Yeah l, I'll take a soda," he said with an annoyed tone to his voice.

"Alright thank you for coming to Los Pollos Hermanos," Gus responded as he handed a cup to Jesse.

"Yeah, whatever," Jesse mumbled as he took the cup over to fill it with pepsi. He walked over to a booth near Gus and looked at Gus with a confused expression as he motioned to the booth. He climbed in on the side closest to the front of the fast food restaurant and impatiently waited for Gus to sit down. When he finally did, Jesse bombarded him with questions and complaints.

"What did you call me over here for?" he started. "Oh, and how about some kind of apology?" he added. "Or maybe you could _not_ murder my business partner right in front of me?"

"Shh," Gus said quietly, looking around to make sure no one had heard Jesse. "Look, Jesse, that had to happen. Walter wasn't very good at cooperating. But now that that's over, would you like to take over the business?"

Jesse looked at Gus as if he had just offended him in the worst way possible. "Take _over_?" he asked. "You expect me to just.. take over. After what you just did?"

Gus stared at Jesse with a blank expression, waiting for an answer.

Jesse rolled his eyes again as he shook his head. "Are you _serious_?"

Gus nodded slightly. "Yes, Jesse. I would like to offer you double what I paid Walter."

Jesse's eyes widened a little. "Double?" he asked in disbelief. "Oh, shit.."

"I can give you some time to think about it," Gus interrupted him.

Jesse's chest puffed up and then down again as he took a deep breath. "Jesus.. well, I guess.. I guess I'll do it."

Gus gave a small smile as he stood up, reaching his hand out to shake hands with Jesse. "Pleasure doing business with you," he commented as they shook hands.

Jesse felt terrible for this. He was still deeply grieving over Mr. White and he would never forgive Gus for what he did, but he desperately needed money right now.


End file.
